You Can Choose Your Friends but Not Your Family
Supporting someone y'all dearest who is grieving tin exist tough. Part of this is considering you want to help, but deep down, you know that you tin can't fully take their hurting away. In addition, it was difficult to console a grieving friend or family member before the COVID-19 pandemic — but this past yr has certainly complicated the process. Offering back up with a screen separating you from your loved ane can prevent you from extending a comforting hug or mitt and furthering your bulletin of support.
Even so, knowing what to say and practice — in addition to only beingness there for them without necessarily saying or doing as well much — is a cracking start. Grieving is a gradual procedure, and the ultimate healer is time. All the same, in the process, you tin help a loved one cope by providing support in unlike ways. Utilize these tips to get started in offering reassurance and comfort to someone who'due south navigating the grieving procedure.
Many people are hesitant to directly mention the crusade of someone's grief. Nosotros tend to think it'll make the person feel worse, equally bringing up a proper name or a situation tin can ofttimes prompt the person to start crying equally memories or thoughts come flooding in. Yet crying is a natural and good for you part of grieving. Speaking candidly most their grief tin be much more comforting than noticeably barring information technology from the conversation, too. If your friend or family member is comfortable with information technology, you tin use the word "died" rather than "passed away" if that'due south the root of the grief. Speak the name of the lost loved one.
For example, "I'm going to miss Stephanie so much," is much more than heartfelt and personal than the universal "I'g sorry for your loss," notes Harvard Medical Schoolhouse. Using truly comforting words — and expressing your authentic sentiment — over a loss tin be more helpful than saying something y'all could imagine telling someone you don't know well. Your authenticity and recognition can make your grieving loved ones feel more comfortable virtually their grief and the way they're feeling.
It's important to understand that some people who are grieving feel shame around their grief, as if they're a burden because they're pain or difficult to be around. Acknowledging their grief out loud is an effective way to let a person who'southward grieving know that isn't the example. Of course, you lot desire to exist sensitive near how you bring the situation up, but don't erase it from the chat. It tin can help loved ones recognize that you're someone they don't have to tiptoe around and that they can speak honestly to y'all near what they're going through.
Reach Out Showtime
Don't await for someone who'southward grieving to reach out to you. People going through something hard often don't take the energy to ask for help. Many times, they don't even know what to ask for. Doing that work for them is some of the all-time back up you can provide. Call them to express your sympathy and ask them if they want to talk. Cheque in with them often, even if it's just to let them know you're thinking about them.
Offer to help out, likewise. Don't tell them to let you know if they need anything; they might be reluctant to practise so, and that won't make things easier for them. Help out with specific things, like bringing over groceries or pre-made meals, cleaning their house, driving them around, assisting with childcare or answering their phone. Many people dealing with grief feel guilty request for this kind of help, and if you lot know the person well enough it can be best to just do these things without request. They'll capeesh it.
Heed Without Trying to Fix Everything
Your grieving loved one will need someone to heed to them when they experience like talking. They need someone to listen without offering unsolicited advice and without judgment. If someone special to them died, let them exercise the talking nearly how they feel. Allow them echo the story over and over if they have to. A compassionate ear helps more you know to lessen the pain. Y'all can offering words to comfort the bereaved without putting your two cents in or interjecting. Just give advice if they specifically ask for it. It's perfectly okay to acknowledge that you don't know what to say but want them to know they have your support.
Part of being a expert listener to someone experiencing loss or any type of grief is understanding the grieving process. Information technology doesn't always manifest as sadness or depression. Feelings of anger and anxiety are common. Having trouble sleeping is normal, every bit is feeling fatigue. Disruptions in eating patterns happen often as well. If you feel okay with it, you tin can exist someone to whom they feel comfy letting it all out. If you're talking in-person rather than through a screen, y'all might concord their hand and hug them instead of trying to come with solutions. Call up, no advice you can requite is going to take the pain away. However, your presence can exercise wonders for helping them cope in the meantime.
Don't Minimize Their Loss by Being Overly Positive
It can be helpful to bring up 18-carat positives to a loved one who is grieving — just the fashion y'all do so matters. For instance, reminding them that the person they lost was loved or lived a full life can be comforting. Notwithstanding, you want to avoid overdoing it or merely focusing on the good. Not everything has a positive spin, and that's okay; it doesn't take to. Being too positive can hands make someone who's grieving feel like you're minimizing their hurting or loss, as if it isn't a big bargain or they're being too emotional virtually it.
An example of a minimizing comment might exist, "What doesn't kill you makes you lot stronger." While it's true they may come out the other end of their grief stronger, in the moment information technology can feel similar yous're pushing bated their sadness or suggesting their emotions aren't valid.
Expressing things through the lens of your faith to someone who doesn't share your beliefs is another thing to avert. If someone doesn't believe in God, telling them their dead loved ane is "in a ameliorate place" won't help them feel better. Saying that what happened is "part of God's plan" could make them feel angry rather than comforted. Even if you mean well, leaving your religion out of it is much more supportive if they don't share your beliefs. Your words of sympathy and comfort can hands be expressed using non-religious language instead.
Seeing people you love grieve is never easy, simply accept heart. The loving back up you lot offer tin can be a powerful tool in helping family and friends procedure their grief.
Resource Links:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/salubrious-lifestyle/end-of-life/expert-answers/grieving-process/faq-20058274
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/cease-of-life/in-depth/grief/art-20045340
https://www.wellness.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving
https://pathwayshealth.org/grief-support/grief-tin-have-very-real-physical-symptoms/
Source: https://www.symptomfind.com/health/support-grieving-loved-one?utm_content=params%3Ao%3D740013%26ad%3DdirN%26qo%3DserpIndex
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